Why Do I Even Bother

[Swede]

Cochise was afraid.

This wasn't a particularly recent development; he was more or less in state of fear constantly. But he had new things to fret over now. By most standards, he was a relatively young horse; eleven years, an age where many are in the prime of their life, healthy and strong and settled. He still had the build of a three year old colt, as if he had stopped growing at some point in his youth and never developed the proper frame and muscling that a grown stallion ought to have; and yet, he felt as though he were eighteen. His tendons had been bothering him lately, and he had been lame on and off throughout the past couple of seasons. Twice this autumn he'd suffered through lonely nights of colic. His body ached in the morning, and he was convinced that his hearing was getting worse.

Paranoid? Perhaps. Cochise would beg to differ. He was blind in one eye already, a pathetic creature who couldn't fight back if attacked and had enough difficulty as it was to avoid danger. Harsh treatment had hastened his aging, and a life of stressful lonely wandering was eating away at the scrawny stallion. In the desert, for a while, he had felt... happy. Almost even relaxed. But the strangers invaded, and Orchid vanished, and he had fled like the coward he was. Now he was alone again. No Cougar to guide him, no Orchid to make him feel wanted. Surviving each day so that he might repeat the process again tomorrow, with no goal in sight.

This meadow, at least, was a little bit safer than other places. A brisk wind rattled the branches of the bordering trees, tearing at the few remaining leaves which clung to their hosts. A shudder ran down Cochise's spine; winter soon. It would be worse then. Much, much worse. Heaving a sigh, he cast a fretful glance across his shoulder, tilting his head to accomodate for his secret blindness. Not even Orchid had known how useless his right eye was; he figured his general appearance was pathetic enough, no need to further lower others' opinion by telling them just how broken he really was. Hm; nobody nearby, for the present moment at least. The pinto lowered his muzzle to the cold surface of the water, drinking slowly, unwilling to swallow too much at once. He didn't want yet another stomachache. But he felt a need to hurry; always hurrying, never staying in one place for too long, too fearful of the dangers that might lurk in the shadows.

[Dusty's Girl]

Whispering sighed softly, she had been on the wonder ever since she left her last place. No one wanted a mare that looked like she was dirty, but that was just her coat color. Softly and almost cautiously, she walked into the meadow, wondering if she would finally have a friend who didn't look at her like she was a freak. Whispering lifted her head as she caught the scent of a stallion, but she was hesitant on finding this stallion. What if he didn't want her around and lunged at her? Or what if he said something to insult her? These things and many more crossed her mind, she was tempted to turn and run, but something told her to stay. Walking so softly and slowly, she edged closer and let out a soft, lonely nicker but did not move closer. She hoped he would answer but she was not going to hope for more than that. Lowering her head, she let her ear stay forward, but she sighed again with a fear of being rejected once more. No matter how much she stayed in the water, she could never look "clean" to anyone. Whispering soon started to graze and as she did so, her fears kept getting worse, what if he took one look and asked if she had even been near water? So many things kept her on edge, so many things from her past kept sneaking up on her in her mind and would not let her rest and find happiness. Shaking her head hard, she sighed and completely dropped her head; soon lying down in defeat of the on going battle raging in her mind, heart and soul. She even wondered if she was going to be alone for the rest of her life.

[Swede]

Startled by a stranger's voice, Cochise nearly toppled face-first into the water; he managed to catch himself and wheeled around abruptly, backing deeper into the pond. Hmm, now this situation seemed familiar... ah, yes, because the last time he came to this place, some crazy mare had started talking to him about everyone she'd murdered, or something like that. Why had he believed this place was actually safe?! What if she had come back to kill him now...

But the stranger across the meadow wasn't the one he had encountered before. This was a different mare, much smaller than that crazy one- shorter than himself, even. But that didn't mean she was sane; what if she was even worse? He watched the stranger warily, but she did not appear to be planning any sort of attack, or indeed approach at all. Cochise narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but still nothing happened. Perhaps... perhaps she did not want to harm him after all? Supposedly many individuals could be quite friendly, even though he had mostly encountered either psychos or just downright bullies who made fun of him every change they got. She had entered the fields, nickered a greeting, and then settled to graze... perhaps just a harmless encounter, a pleasant good-day to a fellow visitor of the meadow. "H-Hello?" he ventured in hoarse return. He immediately felt like kicking himself. You stupid stuttering fool, why do you even bother? You just sound like a blithering idiot whenever you open your mouth, he grumbled silently.

[Dusty's Girl]

Whispering's head shot up at the stallion's voice. He seemed just as fearful as she was. Getting up, she kind of hid in the shadows of the trees but replied, "Hello, I-I..." she shook her head and took a deep breath and tried again. "I am Whispering of the Wild Wind, or Whispering as I go by now." she finally got out. Sighing once more, she took a small step forward, but never left the shadows. "I mean no h-harm." she stuttered softly. Keep calm and stop acting as if everything is so frightening to you. she told herself.

Whispering shook her mane once more, almost like a nerves habit that she developed over the time she'd been traveling. The battle within her seemed to keep going on even if this horse was as fearful as she was. What if he thinks I'm a mare of disgust and does not wish for my company? she thought as she watched him. She tried to talk herself into taking a few more steps and soon she decided to step into the sunlight, closer but still not to close to the stallion. Closing her eyes, she walked rather fast just to stand out of the shadows she was in because she knew that she would soon lose her nerve and high tailed it out of there. Eyes still closed she waited for the stallion's reaction to how she looked and to her actions. It scared her even more now that she had no where to hide and her whole body was telling her to run.

[Swede]

Cochise unconsciously took a step backwards into the water as the mare emerged from the shadows, coming closer towards him. It was almost a reflex at this point in life, to flinch away whenever anyone came near. But her voice and body language were not aggressive, and she even stated explicitly that she didn't mean any harm. He figured that he could accept that; few horses would or even could make a direct lie about such things, it simply wasn't in the equine nature to pretend courtesy and intend threat. Most would be very obvious about it if they didn't like you. Of course, there were always exceptions to the rule...

No, he couldn't think like that. Geez, he was getting more and more paranoid by the day. "Oh," he said finally in numb reply. He dared not repeat her name, for fear of utterly butchering it there were far too many syllables involved. But he supposed he ought to reciprocate the introduction. "Um, m-my name is C-Cochise," he mumbled, gauging her reactions with a wary eye. "I d-don't mean to be in the way, I can l-leave if you w-want me to... just th-thought the m-meadow was empty..."

[Dusty's Girl]

Whispering finally dared to open her eyes and let out a sigh of relief for the fact that he didn't reacted with something insulting, but she did lower her head when he said he could leave. "No...y-you don't have too Cochise." she whispered softly. "I can always get a drink on the other side and let you have y-your space." Shaking her head like always she sighed as she thought Good going. Now take a deep breath. That's it. "If Whispering is to long, you may call me Wind." she said as she side stepped over to the farther end of the pond.

Whispering lowered her head to drink and closed her eyes as the cool water tasted good to her. She was trying to ignore the feeling of wanting to bolt and just stand as still as she could. She wanted to give Cochise his space since he seemed as skittish as she was. Lifting her head, she glanced at the sky; her ears shifting their position, listening for everything. "Whispering get a hold of yourself. No one is going to pick on you." she muttered to herself. Pawing at the water, she splashed some on to herself to cool her off a little after her long run, but she never moved closer to Cochise.

[Swede]

Cochise turned his head warily as the mare circled around the pond, doing his best to keep her in his field of vision without being a weirdo about it. But how could he not? He was always the oddball, the twiggy little freak in the corner that nobody really liked. Her behavior wasn't particularly normal either, though... the question was whether she was trying to avoid him out of distaste, or out of respect, or out of fear. The cues in her body language suggested the latter, which was peculiar. Was she afraid of him? The very notion of it was laughable. Cautiously, he lowered his head to sip at the water some more, one ear instinctively flicked in the mare's direction and the other swiveling to and fro in its endless watch for danger.

Lifting his head, he discreetly peeked at Whispering again. Dare he...? No, she'd probably get angry at him. But surely anything was better than this stuffy silence, and if she attacked him, they at least had the water between them, that ought to give him enough of a head start to reach the trees before she beat him into the dust. "Are you afraid?" he blurted, then hastily added, "I-I don't mean- y-you just seem a little- n-not that it's my business, I j-just thought... you..." Realizing he'd already fumbled things enough, his words trailed into awkward silence, unable to find a way to properly correct his prior statement.

[Dusty's Girl]

Whispering brought her head up, listening to Cochise. She slightly smiled, but her thoughts were jumbled up. He thinks I am afraid of him? Isn't he repulsed by me? she thought. Should I tell him or not about why I act the way I do? Thinking hard about everything, she lowered her head once more to wet her throat.

"No I am not...afraid of you...Well not looks wise..." Oh this was not going the way she thought it would. Sighing again she tried to say it better. "I get picked on because of my coloring, so I am wary of others." Yes that was better, way better, but she still wasn't sure what she should and shouldn't tell him. "I just thought maybe you'd pick on me as well. And as for...uh walking around you like I did...I uhmm..was giving you your space." She finally managed to get out. She hated how startled she was around others and how she always expected the worst when she met them.

[Swede]

He hadn't really expected her to be afraid of him specifically, referring more to a sort of general disposition or a wariness of her surroundings, but even though he had no reason to be surprised by her words, they still pricked him a little. Cochise was fully aware that he was a scrawny beanpole of a horse, the sort whose scars come not from ferocious battles but from being picked on by life in general, but that didn't make it any more pleasant to be reminded of how unintimidating he looked. However, he was used to such reactions and it wasn't difficult to stifle any retort. Instead, he listened to her continued explanation, which turned his initial disgruntlement into flabbergasted disbelief.

"Y-You thought I m-might pick on you. Me. Pick on y-you. F-For appearance." He shook his head slowly, too stunned and amused by the very idea of such a thing to worry about how she might react. "I know w-what it's like t-to be laughed at... y-you're f-fine by me, if that's what y-you're so worried about."

[Dusty's Girl]

Whispering looked up at him. Did he really say what she thought he did? That was brand new to Whispering. She wasn't use to anyone not not picking on her. Things were getting confusing to her and right now, her mind was going all over the place. She didn't know what this meant to her.

Looking back over to Cochise, she said, "Th-thank you." Wow, that sounded dumb even to her. "M-may I come a little closer?" she asked him. She didn't want to impose on him or anything but she didn't know what to do. She had never met a horse that didn't want to pick on her so it was all a little to confusing and over whelming for her.

[Swede]

Cochise eyed the mare carefully for a moment. She had thus far been polite, friendly even, and certainly didn't seem to have any intentions of being nasty to him. Even the ones who were plotting some secret laugh at his expense usually exuded subtle signs that such a thing might happen, but Whispering seemed genuinely unconcerned about doing anything like that. "S-Sure," he said, "Do what you w-want." Maybe it wasn't such a crazy idea, having a little chat with a stranger for once; usually it turned out much less pleasant, but perhaps this was going to be different. She didn't even seem to mind his stutter; on the contrary, she too seemed to fumble her words a bit.

Suddenly, Cochise smiled a little, allowing himself to feel a wee bit cheerful over this turn of events. "B-Be easier to talk if we d-don't have to shout across th-the pond, anyway," he added coyly. He still felt a bit shy, but was interested in learning more about this like-minded stranger.

[Deleted]

He was chestnut and white, a pinto to say the least. His mother had always called him a mutt and maybe that is what he was supposed to be. Though he was a bit older now, he was still gangly and driven to cause trouble. His feathering was not as thick as his mother's feathering was, but then again, he didnt know much of what his father looked like either. His stride was sure of itself as he trotted into the fountain area and he knew that he was there to cause trouble. Or so he thought.

She lagged behind him a good few paces, but she still knew that he was there. The bay and white Vanner trotted behind her older son. She knew that she should have cut him off long ago, but she could not picture life without at least a taste of her love. The love that she had lost and would likely never regain. But she was back in these lands and that meant that maybe she would see him once more. Her eyes raised towards her son once more, to make sure that the arrogant three year old was not making too much trouble already.

The snow was thicker here than it was in some places during their travel and well, Chase enjoyed it. He kicked up his heels and tossed his head, cavorting like any youngster would do in the winter. His soft screams of happiness echoed through the air as he bucked and kicked, tossing his head. Orchid shook her head at her son and continued trotting towards the water, intent on drinking deeply of the cold sweet water that remained there. Her hair was matted in places and some of it was missing due to scarring of the past, but she was still a lovely mare and one that still held her age, even though she was getting along in years.

Chase snorted and tossed his head, finally settling on the other two horses there. Oh ho! Other horses! He had not had others to pester in quite some time. Snickering to himself, he took off towards the stallion. His lip curled up as he tossed his head, his tail flagging behind him.
"Hey there, Old Man! Wanna race?! I bet I could so beat you from here to the tree line." He tossed his head as he sidled up next to the stranger. Only, he wasnt so much of a stranger somehow. The scent was too familiar, pulling at memories in the young horse's head. But Chase was too headstrong to listen to instinct. Or reason for that matter.

Orchid raised her head, oh no! Chase was at it again! The horrible colt!
"Chase! Leave that poor stallion....." Her words cut off as she noticed the horse that was standing next to Chase. He was so familiar, so like the love of her life, the sire of Chase. She paused in her actions and life seemed to pause for a time.

[Dusty's Girl]

Whispering was going to walk through the pond over to Cochise, but when the others came, she side stepped and looked for a way out of there. Her body trembled with fear and she soon vanished from sight once more. Standing more in the shadows, she watched the others and held her head low. She still trembled so terribly that she was shocked her legs still held her up right. Glancing up, she noticed some of the sunlight was still hitting her coat and she backed up fairly fast, hitting the tree behind her which startled her once more.

what should I do? she thought. She didn't want to leave her new friend but even her fears had a limit on what she could and couldn't handle. And with a new stallion around, she knew that there could be a problem for her. It was young horses that started to pick on her long ago, but with age, her coat had gotten even more 'dirty' looking to others. Having her head low, she felt ashamed of herself decided to deal with everything, the picking, the teasing and she walked out and across the pond; even then her body was trembling harder.

[Swede]

Cochise was about to speak again, but suddenly the not-too-far-off sound of a rambunctious young stallion pierced the frosty air. He knew that sound all too well, and it usually meant impending disaster. But before he could suggest they take off, a painted shape came barreling towards him. Cheeky and taunting; they always were, and it was always a miserable experience. Cochise instinctively flinched away as the younger stallion came up close, but then he heard another voice, saw another figure... a winter mirage? A trick of the light against the snow?

No. No it wasn't; surely this apparition was flesh and blood. "O-Orchid?" he breathed, staring at her dumbly.

[Deleted]

Chase looked back at his mother and snorted deeply, but he did indeed move off from Cochise. But the scent was still so familiar to the young stallion. Flipping his tail, he sauntered off and lowered his head to the snow. His mother usually didn't holler at him like she had just done, but maybe there was something here that she liked. Oh, well.

Orchid paused, unsure of how to continue. How do you apologize for your son nearly scaring off the love of your life and another mare. This is what Cochise would have wanted, she was sure of it. But she did not know what to say to all of this, really. Her thick tail swung behind her as she lowered her head slightly and nickered softly,
"Yes, Cochise, it is me, Orchid. And I am so sorry that your son is quite the handful. I do not think that he realized that you are his father. He is quite the hoof-ful, as you can see. Again, I am sorry." Her voice broke before she could continue.
Chase looked up, his ears had been tuned to the words that his mother had been speaking. This was his father? But he looked nothing like his mother and certainly didn't look like him. Who was this stallion really? He strode over towards the stallion and his mother. He had scented another, but he would not say anything until his mother brought it up. He might be a horrendous son, but he knew when to stay quiet.
"I hope that I am not interrupting anything, Cochise, I just wanted to apologize for my son and his horrible behavior. I hope that you can forgive us and I hope to see you around more." Her voice wavered as she began to back up to leave.

[Dusty's Girl]

Whispering moved back, her head low. so he knew them; that meant he would be fine and it seemed like no one really to notice of her. Turning on a dime, she again fled to the shadows where she was more comfortable and knew only those she wanted to see her; would see her. Shifting her weight, she sighed heavily to herself. To much already for this little mare and she still could feel her body tremble with being nerves and because of her past.

Backing up farther into the shadows, she kept her head low and her eyes closed with bliss as she knew no one could see her from where she stood. No matter what she did, her fears came to her even if she no longer had to be afraid of where she was. It was one thing she hated about herself.

[Swede]

It is not every day your beloved, your goddess, the center of your universe rises from the dead and appears before you as if she had only stepped out of sight for a moment. Cochise was not an individual of grandeur, or accustomed to the life and ways of well-spoken heroes from legend who always knew precisely what to say. His reaction was not a beautiful one, or a noble one; the shock of the moment wiped his mind blank, and he could only stare for several seconds longer before managing to harness his emotions enough to comprehend what she even was saying.

"W-Wait- don't go," he said hastily, unwittingly taking a step forward in his panic to have her stay. His head turned to look at the coltish younger stallion for a moment, equally dumbstruck by this one. "I-" But he could find no suitable words to say. This... this was his son? It was nearly impossible to believe. If life had been different, if Cochise had been allowed to grow and flourish without being caged up and beaten down, might he have turned out similarly? That was a question that could never be answered.

Shaking his head slowly in numb disbelief at this revelation and at the situation in general, he turned back to Orchid. "P-Please, d-don't go... Orchid, this is..." his voice faltered at the mere thought of attempting to say the other mare's name without stumbling across its many syllables, and he amended, "th-this is Whispering..." As he turned he was startled to realize that the mare was no longer where she had been previously, and the idea of something disappearing from his limited field of vision caused slight panic to rise in him for a moment before he caught sight of her again, cowering back in the shadows. "D-Don't be afraid, Orchid is..." He paused; how could he possibly describe to anyone what a godsend Orchid really was? "She's r-really nice, I promise," he decided, settling on what was perhaps most relevant for the timid mare.

[Deleted]

Orchid let her eyes swing to where Cochise had indicated a horse was,
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Whispering. I promise that I will not hurt you nor will my son here. He is nothing more than hot air and pride. Please, come and join us." She bowed her head graciously and raised it slowly. Her thick mane and forelock swung with the motion as she moved, then settled back into place as she looked back to Cochise.

Chase snorted and tossed his head, looking at his mother with a glare. But soon it softened and he turned back to his father. His mane and tail were thick, yet sparse at the same time and they moved with just the slightest movement of the young stallion.
"Hello Father. Mother has spoken so highly of you. I am so happy that I finally get to meet you and know you before I have to go on to live my own life." He bowed his head to his father and then turned to acknowledge the mare that his father had introduced. Though Chase had horrible manners, he knew where his place was when it came to introductions.

Orchid strode up to Cochise and snorted softly, her head reaching towards him to caress him softly. No, she could not explain where she had been or why she had left, but she was here now and she would not leave until her dying day now.

[Dusty's Girl]

Whispering sighed as she tried to decide to go back out or stay in the shadows. So many choices and so many memories. She didn't know what to do. Slowly almost painfully, she walked back into the light and watched the other horses. "H-hello." she muttered as she lowered her head to them in a form of a greeting.
Not moving from where she stood in the snow, she sighed as she lowered her muzzle into the snow, looking for some grass she could nibble on. She was just listening to the other but she was still trying to keep herself from shaking so badly that anyone could see.

[Swede]

Today had certainly been an overwhelming day, for sure. He had met someone like him, a social outcast who was shy and cautious, and yet just as happy for a friend as he was. Orchid had come back, descended once more from whatever heavenly plane she originated from. He had met his son Chase, and seen in him the potential for a much more grandiose stallion than he himself had ever been. He watched the colt now, already taller and more muscled than his father. Instinctively, Cochise almost felt a little intimidated, as he always did whenever he met a stallion (or anyone, really) who he wasn't familiar with. Along with that feeling came a sense of shame; afraid of his own son? How pathetic could it get, seriously... No, it wouldn't do. He was a father of a fine colt, and even if he lacked the ability to show any pride in himself, he could at least be proud over someone else. "I'm glad to m-meet you too," he said slowly, minimizing the stammer in his tone, "I've missed your mother, and y-you too.."

Now he just sounded silly. Cochise's inner voice sighed, shaking its head at his actions. Exhaling, he leaned his muzzle lightly into Orchid's touch, soaking up her scent in his nose and the warming spring sun on his ragged hips. It seemed life was starting to look up a bit, after all. Poor Whispering was clearly quite nervous, and he didn't blame her; he was trembling in his skin the first time he met Orchid, and she, like him, had every reason to be afraid of strangers. But maybe life would start to look up for her too, someday soon.