My grandmother

[blackcatluvr]

May be dying soon.
Perfect timing with everything else that's been happening lately. Italicized = sarcasm.

Sooo, um. This year has been pretty amazing until now. And with the realization that happened on Friday about this guy and other fun stuff, it's just perfect timing.
We're going to see her tomorrow morning. Meaning I won't be in school. And my dad said she probably won't be with us much longer. My mom says she has what I had when I was a baby; necrotizing enterocolitis..or something like that. The stomach becomes distended because of toxins being in it and not being filtered out, and the intestines are basically...dying. So, they have to perform a surgery to fix all that, but they (oh, they = hospital people) have to keep her in ICU for a few days. It's basically a lose-lose-lose situation. No winning I don't think.
Three situations can happen-
A. No surgery, she dies because her entire body becomes toxic. So says my mom. And she was in the medical field for 14+ years.
B. They do the surgery, she may die in surgery.
C. They do they surgery, she doesn't die, but will most likely die trying to rehabilitate from it.
Lose-lose-lose situation. Unless by some chance, D happens:
They do the surgery and she doesn't die during or in rehabilitation from it. But that's unlikely.
And if they want her to live, they have to do the surgery.
Sigh. :/
My mom said on the phone that she couldn't really be sad because she'd already grieved for my nanny (dad's mom. this is who I'm talking about.) years ago when she had her stroke, because the 'mom' my mom knew died when she had the stroke. As in, my nanny wasn't the same after she had her stroke. My mom says she knows my nanny wasn't happy. And what almost made me cry was when my mom said "You have to let her go". But I don't honestly think I can, because my nanny was a huge part of my childhood. I can still remember her house and the smell of it, and how she would have candies in her car that she would give me whenever we went somewhere. It was the candy with the wax paper wrapping, if any of you know what those kinds are.
But uh. I don't really know what's going to happen. I'm going to go see her tomorrow and...I don't know.
That's all. I just needed to get it out somewhere.

[lilmisspony]

poor cat. I think you need a hug. *huggles*

I lost my grandfather a few years ago after his heart just gave way. He's been in and out of hospital for months, and to a degree, years. It was really sad to see him pass on, I cried a lot, and I still hold my few (but very precious) childhood memories of him dearly. Like how he played cricket with us, how he saved me from the snake, and how I used to get up early every morning I stayed at their place to watch the news with him. And the last hospital visit. How he slowly wasted away was so sad, and I was only fourteen or fifteen watching this, I can't imagine what it was like for my Mum.

Mum said the same sort of thing (and this was her dad). He'd had a bad heart attack a few years ago, and he hadn't been the same since. She missed him, but knowing that he had gone to a better place was a comforting thought. He wasn't suffering any more, and that was a comfort to her. Perhaps the only one.

So, yeah, I know. Letting go sucks. But keep those memories close to you forever, and you never will have to truly let go.


Anyway....

What's this I hear about cat and a boy?

[blackcatluvr]

Thank you pony <3

But keep those memories close to you forever, and you never will have to truly let go.

I didn't actually think about that. That helps, a lot. (: <33

And oh jeez. Long (incredibly long) story short, Tata (Tom/Thomas/Dorkface/Poptart..I have a few nicknames for him heh. His nickname for me is Savi (: ).....oh jeez. Okay, so, I've never met him. He's my friend Lacey's friend from when she lived in New York. He has a girlfriend. We became friends when he kept texting me. I thought he was trying to reach Lace, but found out he was trying to talk to me. We became friends, I found out he had a "weird crush" (quote from him in July/August) on me. I had started liking him as we talked more and more, and then I finally found out he had a myspace (he doesn't go on often, though), so I found out what he looked like. And then he told me that he kinda liked me, but that it was a "weird crush". He's become the best guy friend I've ever had, but, I have a problem. I've gone beyond the just liking stage. And, we haven't been talking as much as we did before his birthday in September. And I've come to the realization that nothing will ever happen because he's with her and he lives in New York and doesn't intend to move any time soon (or at all). So uh, yeah....and in all this, I decided to go out with this kid David, who's liked me since about July...this was last month I finally said "yeah, okay", because he kept asking and asking. And sure, David makes me happy, buttttt...not as happy as Tata does. And I've never even met Tata. Just thinking about Tata makes my...I don't know. It makes me want to giggle or something rofl. But, nothing will ever happen, and that's the realization I came to. No matter how much I want it to or how many times I wish at 11:11 (yes, I do that. ), it'll never happen.
Um. Yeah. Long story short. It would be a novel if I wrote everything down, hah.


Edit; oh, and. I wished for someone I liked to like me back. Well, it happened...along with about 8+ supposed others that like me. ....and just during one month, two random strangers came up to me and said I was beautiful. Seriously, what's up with that? Definitely not. One was this old guy in wal-mart, the other was this lady selling wine in the grocery store.

[lilmisspony]

yeah... the advantages of studying poetry in english that is actually enjoyable XD. Who would have thought it.

And pony loves a good novel. Hell, Cat might even be able to write her story and get it published one day. At least it sounds interesting enough for it XD. It sucks when you realise that something you want so badly won't ever happen, but pony's philosophy (what do you think, I could run classes? XD) says two things A) never be afraid to believe and never chase hope away. Just make sure you don't go hoping for something like world domination (coz that's bad) the world's biggest pizza (cos that's stupid) or for all the world's oceans to dry up (coz it ain't gunna happen)

and yes, I know swede, I know it's gramatically wrong, and spelt incorrectly, but well, I say it like that sometimes (heaven forbid), and it needed a "verbal" feel XD

and where was I... oh, yes, part B) Everything happens for a reason. Take that reason into the world and make use of it. It is only through using our past experiences that we may grow and develop as a person.

So, you can take your experience, your lessons, and become a stronger person from it. You should never let go of a truly special person just because they live too far away (And pony is definitely speaking from experience here) but don't be afraid to broaden your horizons, either. And as for the beautiful thing? Well, if the pictures that I have seen of you on DA are infact you, then I can agree with that. Although I'm not a stalker. Unlike the old guy from walmart. Beware of random old blokes that come up to you and tell you that you are beautiful. Unless they have a look of warmth and truth in their eye. When it's lust though. Run, Cat, run! XD

oh, and by the way, how far away do you live from new york?
(pony's just wondering, since her boyfriend lives at the other end of the state - and in Aus that means nine hours away)

[blackcatluvr]

Rofl! Haha if I write a story or an autobiography one day or something and it gets published, I'll let you know. XD I think you could run classes, haha. I've definitely grown since I started talking to him. He's one of the people that made this year good, cause he's made me happy, heh. Happy as in I can't even find reasons to think of bad stuff anymore. Except for now. And he's made me see what a bad choice I was going to make with my "friends" in two years. But now, my "friends" don't like it because I've changed. Apparently for the worse, but all I can see is that I've become more outgoing and I've become my own person, you know? And apparently that's "for the worse"? But yeah, Tata helped me to become my own person and become more outgoing and stuff. Haha, pony the stalker
As for the old man, it was creepy. It was kind of both. I was waiting with my friend Courtney in wal-mart, because she went to look at the donuts that were near the deli section (we were getting turkey or something for her mom). There was this old guy near me, and he kept looking over at Courtney and I. He then came up two me and asked if Courtney and I were sisters. I don't even know how he thought that, considering we look almost the same age and she looks hispanic, and I...well, don't. She'd dyed her hair a reddish color, so maybe it was that. Or just him. Anyway. I said no, and he just stared at me for a few seconds before saying, "Oh, well, you two are very beautiful."....and then he walks back to his shopping cart. And that's the end of that. It was creepy/weird.

Ummm...hmmm. New York. Let me mapquest it. XD That doesn't sound stalkerish at all, jeez. "Oh, let me mapquest how far away I am from Tata" haha. Total Travel Estimates: 19 hours 31 minutes / 1245.47 miles
I don't think that it takes in for account bathroom breaks, food breaks, sleep breaks, etc. though, haha. So, it'd probably take about a day and a half or so to get there.

Oh, and I'm not sure if aus uses kilometers or not, but here's the kilometers it would be; 2004.389

[Swede]

And one thing you can never do, kittycat, is give up hope. Accept the possilibity of an unhappy ending, and be able to move on from it, but if you give up hope you're screwed. My grandfather had heart failure (not sure exactly why, I was only six then so I don't remember too well) several years ago, in the hospital for a good while and really weak for an even longer while, but his surgery was successful and right now he's a happy healthy old man who rides his bike in the summer (he managed nearly 300 km total last year, June-august I believe) and will be turning 87 next spring.

And pony, you know me all too well I think... my RL friends do that too, write excuses for mispellings on facebook or intentionally use crap grammar to drive me nuts. One of my friends is determined to get me to use "ain't" in everyday speech, as well as make me pronounce evil like "evul". (Of course, this is nothing compared to what other dastardly plans she's got for me, but that's another story for another day).

So that's who the mysterious Tata is! You talk about him -a lot- on deviantart, but I could never quite figure out if it was a classmate or what, and you know me- too lazy to ask xD

Kittycat, you wouldn't like the train station near my school where the bus picks me up when I go home... lots of weirdos there who like to ask weird questions and make weird comments, or just act plain weird. Favorite hangout of the local drunks and the people who used to live at the mental hospital before it was shut down. They even harass me, and I'm not so lovely if I may say so myself. Comes in handy, I suppose, if I was really pretty they would never leave me alone... One of them started kissing my friend's hands and told her "I've always wanted kids, do you like kids? We could have kids together!" Note that he was 35 years+, my friend is 16 and looks like she could be maybe 14.

Um... I forget why I started ranting about that, but whatever. Creepy stories to entertain you all is always fun. Or something... aaaww...I'll shut up and go post something instead...

[blackcatluvr]

So, I found out some new good stuff today:
She's doing way better than yesterday. Mainly because the doctors and machines in the Bahamas (are they called Bohemians?) aren't very....good..they had to take blood from her three times because the machines weren't working right. And, when they DID get a reading, it was way wrong. They said her blood gases were around 24, and that means there's an infection in the blood. But, when they took another reading when she got back to the states (they used a medical airplane thing to get her back; what would normally take about 3 or 4 hours took about 1), her blood gases were normal. But my aunt said she looks 100% better than yesterday. She was retaining liquids, so everything was puffed up yesterday and her skin actually had a greenish tint to it. And they had to take her off her blood thinner medicine or something like that....cumadin...kumadin...I don't know how it's spelled, but...and they're giving her plasma to help speed that up, because her blood basically had the consistency of water. And when people would touch her, she would bruise.
But, she's doing better. So, they may not even have to do surgery, depending on how things go. Right now she's in the SICU though at Holmes Regional.
Um, I totally forgot where I was going with this. Anyway, yes. Good news. (:


And hahaha, yes, Swede, the mysterious Tata. XD Do I really talk about him a lot on there? I didn't think I talked about him that much

Oh jeez, I don't think I'd like that then. >_< I'd end up hurting a person probably..that little comment you made at the end, about that guy that said to your friend, my face actually went like this: , heh.

[lilmisspony]

Nov 9, 2009 19:19:39 GMT -5 @blackcatluvr said:

(are they called Bohemians?)

erm... a bohemian is someone that dresses like a "hippie". I know that much at least. I think they are Bahaman or something XD.

And isn't that wonderful news Cat! you must be very relieved. I'd love to read your autobiography some day. Although it's a shame that your "friends" think a positive change is negative. Perhaps you could ask them why? (Pony's not often been one to beat about the bush). And maybe 19 hours is a bit much...Pony's very roundabout suggestion would be try to go to college somewhere close to new york XD.

Swede, I don't know how you can sit at your bus stop. That would be utterly horrifying. Especially to be asked to have babies (I think I would have cried). Although my bus stop is full of stoners that are my own age, and one of them insists that A) I am having incestuous relations with my brother and B) I am a lesbian. Can someone please explain to poor old pony how the hell that works? And yes, swede, I don't really do myself up on a regular basis. I like the anonymity of not being drop dead gorgeous. And having a very poor figure. Besides when I do get really dressed up (like I did for my graduation) everyone goes "wow, look at her!" Which is nice for an odd change.

And we all know that swede likes her grammar. Lots. That's why she's so against RPG vocab, and four line posts. I dare say it's part of the reason why you are co-admin of the site. Just please please forgive pony for her spelling errors. I was never the best speller, and keyboards sometimes make it more difficult.

[minerva]

I'm soo sorry Cat! *hugsandlotsofhugs!* Please take care! I don't know how you feel but I know I can't live without my grandma and grandpa they have taken care of me seens I was born. I have done so much with them and now my grandpa is getting really bad asma and he going to the doctor a lot! anyways take care and I will pray for your grandma!

[Swede]

I believe they are called Bahamians. Or perhaps "person of Bahama"? Sorry, P.C. joke there, I know I'm awful.

Yey kittycat! Things will work out, I'm sure they will.

And Tata? Yes. Yes you do. You mention him in, like, every third journal.


And pony, I can forgive the occasional error, because I tend to make a lot of typos myself. And your bus-stop mates sound weird... I don't know any of mine by name, heh, Swedes have no school buses, they just use the regional bus line instead. My anthropology teacher thinks I'm lesbian though... A super-Republican lesbian religiously obsessed lesbian. Not sure how that works, but whatever. SO much for being a good anthropologist... Hmph.

[blackcatluvr]

I definitely remember replying to this.
Anywhoooo.
I looked it up; it is Bahamian. xD Also because Firefox accepts it as a word.

They've said for months that they were going to tell me why it's bad, but they still haven't. Which in turn makes me think they have no reasons, hah.
Jeez, Pony, that's...odd. Maybe in that person's head, it can happen...weird, though.


Thank you Mouse <3 (:



Oh.....I think I mentioned him in my last journal too...hm.....

This reply isn't long because my sister and her boyfriend of....a long, long time (think like...since they were in high school, and she's 27/28 now) are coming up, so I must finish cleaning my room. xD She yells at me if it isn't clean.