Emo, B*tch, Slag ... The Insults Keep On Coming

[spirit1]

The title pretty much says it all really. Heres the story for the topic chat, note it might be really long xD.
Alex, year nine problematic and my ex, he recently called me a selfish obnoxious b*tch ii may be the last but the first two ii am deffo not !! anyway ii got in an argument with him over it, told him never to talk to me EVER again. Recently, a week or a few days ago, ii unblocked him on msn and only a few days ago he sent me a chain and ii made one comment in which we started to talk. Last night ii was getting verbally asulted by Kyle... yah all know the story with Kyle... he & his mum have banned his sister from talking to me. This has really effected my friendship with Kyle, we were okay and chatting & gossiping --hes worse then me at times-- but then it collapsed only Thursday night!!
Now alot has been going on with me, my nans been in hospital -the one ii actually love & ish alot alike!- with cancer, she had it five years ago and its come back in the bone and my dads dad has died, my grandad even though he never acted like it!, now ii hated him so that has only effected me so much as its made me more cold and harsher Plus i've been having trouble with my appendix, ii did have grumbling appendix then it supsided ... now its back and even more painful! But with everything going on and my parents wanting me to go to my grandads funeral --me refusing too-- they are litrally punishing me! Everyone seems to be ganging up on me & ii need my friends more now then ever ... and this site to be more active !!! ;D
My GCSE grades are suffering, predicted C's & a few B's, when in fact ii could be potentially getting A's & A*'s.
My only friend that seems to care ish Jodie... ii love the girl like family ... shes like my twin in fact!! she listens to all the sh*t and tries to help but sometimes its just things she carnt help with and that potentially hurts more than what my appendix does. In fact my appendix if ii go riding CAN KILL ME ... loads of people actually want me to go & DIE !!! Jodie doesnt want me too, and my BF just doesnt know anything about whats beeen going on
Last night ii thought about "cuttin" again but then ii was dragged out shopping instead and got blisters on my feet. Now thinking about it, what a stupid reason to cut!! am ii right ... everyone in agreement ... good. ii felt really bad last night though, like proper low, ii still do feel low but ii dont want to ever go as low as to attempting suicide again ... EVER !!!

seriously just need to talk to people right now...
.x.Spirit.x.

[Swede]

Spirit, no cutting. Don't take it out on yourself, it's not your fault. I'm not saying to attack the people at fault with a knife, either. Just ignore idiots, repeat offenders don't deserve second chances. Here's an applicable quote-- ''i don't care what people say, as long as it isn't true.'' Have a doctor check your appendix, it could require removal. And do not go riding. Form a study group for school- studying with friends (and actually studying, not chatting, though stdying while eating brownies is alright) did wonders for me last year in AP class, I ended up getting a 5 on the final test. We would met once or twice a week, it really helped a lot.

And if you ever need someone to vent on, don't do it on yourself. PM me, or email, or whatever. I'm usually an ok listener, judging by how much my friends unload by emailing me.

[spirit1]

ii relise that now today talking to some girls and guys older than me on msn. I'm just popular like that *rolls eyes*. One of them actually does want to gang up on the guys o.O i'm not gonnah stop them, just stand and watch laughing xD. They both have had more than one second chance & so has Rachel, all of them have had it!! I'm disowning them ALL ditching and all ... had enough of them taking their sh*t out on me =]
Swede ii went riding today anyway, ii didnt DIE!!! ;D my mum might take me to the doctors if it continues, but she has to fit that in with everything else going on so i'm practically the least of everyones worries.
School is on top of my lists but for now i'm sorting out my work experiance, going down the stables with my form tomorrow All the girl workers want me on the cover list but yeah, ii kinda dont want to yet. The brownie idea ish good, but i'm not sure my friends would even meet... plus ii have after school activities, arabic and spanish ... other stuff like that. I'll try arrange that, get the okay with my parents first though

i'll keep that in mind swede. My mate Sarah ish like that but ii like need an instant reply sometimes.... sometimes its just that bad.... i'm never ever ever EVER resorting to suicide ever ever ever EVER again!! Thats a promise to everyone in my life

-x-Spirit-x-