Break This Shattered Heart

[Swede]

Her sides rose and fell heavily, legs braced against the ground. Her coat was damp with sweat. It was a little past midnight, and her little one was anxiously fighting to see the world.

Faradera wasn't too worried. Rosemont had reassured her last spring, told her that this one would live. This would be different. It had to be. She did not dare think of the alternative. Instead, the scarred mare paced back and forth, back and forth, until she could not take it any longer. With a sighing groan, she sank to the grassy earth. A breeze whispered in her ears, and the stars stared down at her. The only sounds to be heard was the distant chirping of a cricket, and her straining. As of yet, it wasn't too bad. And then, things took a rapid downturn.

A massive shudder shook her body, and her breath caught in her throat. Utter agony gripped her, threatening to rip her to pieces. Something was terribly wrong; she could feel it. Just like the rest; only there were no humans to help his time. This time, she was on her own. The mare closed her eyes, gritting her teeth, fighting off the pain. It increased tenfold. When she opened her eyes again, dots swam in her vision, and the grass was blurry. She couldn't hear the cricket or the breeze anymore; just a horrible rushing sound, and the screams of the past. Stop! STOP!! her mind screamed, but she was utterly powerless. Her neck was slick with cold sweat, jaw clenched, trying not to cry out.

For hours, she lay there, panting, groaning and struggling. She was hardly even aware of life anymore; just horror. She did not know if she was alive, dead, or dying; she longed for the third, anything for this to end. Waves of pain flooded through her at every moment. Then, with a suddenness that shocked her, it was all over.

The mare raised her head weakly, trying to focus enough to see. She glimpsed a dark shape, and a splash of white. No motion. She slumped back down, as any fight that was left died with her little one. Her mind grew calm, and thought faded. Perhaps she would follow her foal.

Behind her, the little bay filly lay wet and immobile in the dew-kissed grass. The stocking and white foot gleamed in the moonlight. She had glimpsed the world for an instant, before passing into the void.

A lonely bird sang out loud and clear. A pale light glimmered on the horizon. It was just before morning. In a sacred land, beside a peaceful lake, stroked by tender grass and a gentle breeze, a mother and her daughter lie motionless.

[Swede]

She felt dead. She was dead. Or was she? Faradera didn't know. Her own breath seemed nonexistent. Perhaps there was an afterlife where breathing wasn't necessary, and she wasn't alive at all. All she knew was that the sun was bright, birds were chirping, and she was shivering. Perhaps this was some sort of halfway between heaven and hell. For a while, she simply lay there, gathering her consciousness together in tiny threads, eyes closed, trying to ignore the dull ache in her head. She had passed out- who knew for how long? Something had happened, something awful. She couldn't remember what. Her body was exhausted and weak, and she struggled just to breathe, let alone stay conscious. But after a while, it grew a little easier. Gradually, she felt the strength return to her. Not much, but enough to get her legs under her and lie in a less sprawled position. Her head eased off the ground, bits of grass clinging to her sweat-caked body, and she closed her eyes wearily. She remembered all now. The same thing; just like all the others. Curse Rosemont; he lied to me. But she knew it wasn't his fault; somehow, inexplicably, she had caused the deaths of four foals. It broke her heart. This foal was dead; why it? Why could it not have lived, and Faradera died? It was the only thing she longed for now. Perhaps she was in luck; after all, being a horse used only to captivity, alone through a tough winter, had done plenty to drag down her condition. And it was even more apparent without the foal bulge. With a helpless sigh, she touched her muzzle to the ground, knees tucked up beneath her, closing her eyes. She was so tired.

[flyff]

[OOC: . . . . Open thread?]

[Swede]

ooc: Doesn't say closed... so yes, open

[flyff]

The stout mare came into Mare Lake at a bouncy trot. It was late spring now, nearly summer... every day felt hotter, heavier, lazier, just like summertime. Tulip Pegasus did not object to summer, and yet, she felt a bit forlorn at the thought that springtime was quickly passing. She loved spring more than any other season... perhaps she merely liked the tulips, her own namesake, sprouting everywhere... perhaps she just liked seeing the mothers and foals running about everywhere. Which reminded her that there was something that had been making this spring very special...

Turning, she called lightly over her shoulder, "Rosie, dear, hurry along now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roselie came along at a much slower pace. Her enormous, emotion-filled blue eyes took in everything around her. She remembered this place... Mare Lake had been where she was born.

After two weeks of being in the world, Roselie proved to be a very quiet, solemn filly, unlike either of her parents. She had discovered that her mother often avoided talking about her father... the only thing she knew was that she had his eyes, and that his name was Rosemont.

At so young an age, to be missing a father was a terrible thing to a little foal like her. Those two facts were things she clung to almost desperately. She found herself staring at her reflection in the water sometimes... examining her big blue eyes, and trying to imagine them on a stallion, big and strong and handsome like she hoped her father was.

The delicate little filly was quite pretty for her age... by looking at her, one would just know that she was going to be stunning when she was a mare. She moved with surprising elegance and grace for one so young... she also moved slowly, taking in everything.

"Mother," Roselie said, suddenly, sharply. Her sharp gaze caught on a huddled black figure in the distance, near the shores of the lake. "Mother, who is that?"

[Swede]

Faradera's misted eyes did not perceive the approaching mother-daughter duo. Had she looked up, she might not have even recognized her old friend, one of the only ones she had in this harsh land, not at first. It would have taken her a moment to realize it was Tulip, and then she would simply have broken down at the sight of her younger counterpart's little one. Or perhaps not; it would be difficult to sink her into any deeper grief than she was in now. She was trembling slightly, with tears she had not shed, was unable to shed whether she wanted to or not. It left a deep, choking pain somewhere halfway between her heart and her throat.

With a sigh, she heaved herself up, standing unsteadily on shaking legs. Tentative, disbelieving steps towards her filly. There had to be some sort of mistake... she had been tired- still was tired- but more lucid now. Maybe, she had been wrong... she had to be... her muzzle lowered to the tiny body in the grass, cold as the lake, nudging the foal. She pushed with her nose, trying to force some sign of life out of the filly. Come on, my little one... up you get... you're just tired, I am too, but you must get up... There was no response. The scarred black mare stood there, shivering, staring at the limp form pleadingly. She couldn't be, there had to be something there, this one was supposed to be different.

[flyff]

Her warm brown eyes sharpened with concern at the sight of the forlorn, but also strangely familiar-looking black mare, huddled and murmuring pitifully to the still body of a bay filly. But all at once, it hit her...

"Faradera!" she gasped aloud, rushing forward at a lopsided gallop. Tulip Pegasus had plenty of extra body fat from her pregnancy still, and was still unaccustomed to running with an enormous weight in her stomach. "Faradera, are you all right, m'dear? Why, you look just terrible!" She took one look at the little filly and knew two things at once: one, that it was Faradera's newborn daughter, and two, that the little filly was dead. Somehow. She wasn't breathing in the slightest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Although she was a bit confused at first, Roselie gathered that this 'Faradera' figure, the old, miserable-looking black mare, was some kind of friend of her mother's. She also gathered that Faradera did not always look like this.

Coming forward at a much slower, but surprisingly more steady, canter, Roselie slid to a smooth stop beside her mother, studying the black mare and the bay filly that lay her feet with her enormous blue eyes, glittering with curiosity. The filly lay flat and small and motionless, and the sight of the filly sent shivers up Rosie's spine. She had never seen a dead horse before, and throughout her two weeks of life, her mother had not yet explained the phenomenon of death to her. However, she knew there was something seriously wrong, and she also knew, for some reason, deep down in her gut, that this filly wouldn't get up ever again, and the thought sent her to shivering.

Shaking her mane delicately out of her eyes, she whispered nervously to her mother, "Mummy, who's that? Why is she that way?" Although she had been born into the world such a short time ago, Roselie had already begun to find herself wanting to seem more sophisticated, and, one or two days ago, had abandoned the childish-sounding name of 'Mummy' for a more stiff and formal 'Mother'.

[Swede]

Faradera swayed unsteadily, overcome with shock and exhaustion. Her bewildered eyes flitted up at Tulip, passing over the younger mare's foal, hardly seeing either. "Tulip?" she said, in a strangled sort of voice. She glanced back down at the prone form of the filly on the ground in front of her, blinking. She gave it a little push with her muzzle again, then raised her head in disbelief. "She's not... she isn't... Tulip, I-" she looked up at the light mare frantically. "Please... she's alright, she has to be, Rosemont said- it was supposed to be different- I, she..." She swallowed nervously. Calm, collected Faradera, who hadn't been this upset since the nasty breakaway from Rosemont, was shaking uncontrollably. Her intense gaze suddenly settled on Tulip's filly. "You," she said suddenly, "You two could play together. That would be nice, for her to have a friend. A playmate." She broke off, staring around wildly. "And we don't have a herd, but that's alright. We'll live here, by the lake, it will be such a nice home. Me and-and-" she looked back at the motionless foal. "But how could I forget, she needs a name. A good name for a happy little thing, she'll grow up fine no doubt." She rambled to herself, stubbornly refusing to believe the evidence before her. She was alive; of course she was alive. There was no alternative; this was supposed to be the perfect one.

[flyff]

The white mare smiled at her black companion, pitying her without thinking. "It's all right, m'gel... you'll be all right," she said softly, stepping forward. She softly nuzzled Faradera, although she tried her best to keep her eyes off the filly. The poor thing was still quite delicate and pretty on her deathbed... why, she would've grown into a stunning mare, wouldn't she have?

At the mention of Rosemont's name, she gave an almost impatient tut, although it was not angry. No, through motherhood, all the anger had left her body, and Tulip Pegasus rarely ggot angry anymore. And yet, she could not resist showing just a bit of contempt at Faradera's seemingly steadfast belief in his word, even after all he had put her through.

"That bally old word-wrangler didn't... doesn't... know a thing about the future," Tulip said firmly to her friend. "He could talk a panther outta death, now couldn't 'e, wot with all those pointless words o' his. Sound pretty but don't mean nothin'." However, after a moment, she softened a bit. She knew that Faradera would come to sooner or later, knowing the older mare to be a sensible one, and thus decided to play along for a short time.

"Hm, yes, looks like a right little ray of sunshine, doesn't she?" Tulip murmured, turning away so that Faradera could not see her tear-filled eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The white little filly, her leggy, graceful father in miniature, stepped forward to examine mother and daughter with curiosity. There was something wrong with the little bay, who looked just-born. She knew that if nothing else. She also knew that the mare was acting strange as well, like she was refusing to say something, or maybe even just to think it. Her eyes kept darting around like she was trapped with dangerous horses, almost like she looked ready to bolt but was too tired to, almost like she didn't know what to do. Her own mother had never been like that before. Roselie felt instantly sorry for the motionless bay, thinking that it might become wearing to have a mother like this.

At the mention of Rosemont's name, however, the little filly's body started. She stared at her mother with eyes even huger than normal... what had her father told this black mare? But her mother refused to meet her eye, and instead stepped forward to comfort the mare, dropping her voice so that Rosie couldn't hear what she was saying. After a bit of subtly trying to eavesdrop, Rosie decided that when the grown-ups got talking, there was no way to stop them, and thus headed over to her fellow filly. Just looking at her gave Rosie the shivers, but she went over to her nonetheless.

"H-hey... hey, um, do you wanna get up? Maybe we could... play, or something." Rosie felt silly talking to a filly that she knew, with a brief wrench of her heart, would never talk back, for some reason or another. But she felt it was the right thing, and she knew that it was so when she saw her mother, who had been getting a bit teary-eyed before, suddenly smile a bit.

[Swede]

Faradera nodded rhythmically, eyes flicking back down to her daughter. "Yes, she's just a little bit exhausted, it was difficult for both of us let me tell you... she'll be up and running in no time..." For a moment, she stood their silently, staring at the foal as though she could bring her back through willpower alone. Her muzzle lowered again, nudging the limp bay, licking her damp coat, whispering inaudible words of hope and encouragement. The strokes of her tongue slowed, her shoulders slumped, and her head raised slightly. "You are right. I cannot trust Rosemont. He was wrong... is wrong..." she said, staring at some invisible object just beyond them. Her voice had a shaky, stammering quality to it, as if a myriad of tears jostled to be relinquished simultaneously, so no could be shed. Rosemont had made her a promise, had assured her things would be different this time. If she had learned anything from Rosemont, it was that he could not be trusted. And thus his words were just more lies. Things were exactly the same. Intense anger boiled within her, burning hate directed at the stallion, despising him, blaming him. It dispersed as quickly as it had materialized. Her body relaxed in defeat. It was not his fault; there were the other three foals as well. All had been sired by different stallions. It was not their fault. It was her own. She, Faradera, had somehow caused the deaths of four foals. A deep, excruciating guilt settled in her mind. Killer. The hate returned, but it was directed inwards; it was directed at herself.

[Swede]

ooc: Flyffette?

[flyff]

[OOC: Not to worry, Swede ;D]

A mixture of sadness and pity racked the mare's stout frame at the sound of her friend's weak voice, choked with a thousand unshed tears. However, she couldn't help breathing a slight sigh of relief... Tulip Pegasus wasn't sure how much longer she would've been able to stand looking at that little bay body and pretending that it was alive, that it might get up and start playing with her own daughter any moment. She knew that Faradera had come round, and although she knew it was painful for her friend, she couldn't help being glad... deep down, just a little.

"I'm sorry." The words were so quiet you could barely tell Tulip was speaking. She was afraid to say anything else, should it push her friend even deeper into depression. For depression would undoubtedly come to the black mare's scared body... how could it not, after losing a foal?

~~~~~~~~~~

Roselie prodded the filly with her nose again, confused and hurt as to why the bay was ignoring her so completely, but also strangely sad. Yes, sad, at the sight of the filly, who couldn't be much younger than she, just laying there. Not moving. Not saying anything. Not even...

Rosie froze, her blue eyes wide and trembling. Is she not breathing? she thought a bit nervously to herself, poking the filly tentatively. No.. she's not! How is that possible! I thought Mummy said that you have breathe to... And she stopped her thoughts right there. How could she not be alive? That was simply ridiculous. The very thought of it. Why, things simply didn't work that way. It was clear that she was alive.

[spirit1]

[[OOC:: mind if ii intrude with Diamond and foal ??]]

The palomino mare was glade to be free of carrying a foal, afterall it was time to challenge for her old herd and find the mares that she left it for. She had carried for a long time and recently given birth, thank god, but to a beauty of all beauties. Balken Night was her name, and she reminded Diamond so much of Light that sometimes it pained to gaze at her. Her blue eyes where a mix of colors from both herself and Rosemont and for that they were the color of the night sky. She was glade to have company of a small filly, well she says small. Balken's build was very big but she could move with such ease and grace for such small hooves she could walk at the same pace of an adult. Diamond wanted mare company however and so dearly to find the friends that had forced her to leave Rosemont, WHILE PREGNANT, but she did not blame them for she was happier than ever. Yet she still wished to track them down for she had heard many a whisper. None of Tulip. Many of Faradera.

As the pair came galloping into Mare Lake they were laughing with joy. Then Diamond noticed a pair of mares, one black and one white.Diamond just wished that she had payed more attention on their run; Attention to the scents in the crisp dew, Attention to the whispers that the winds carried, perhaps they would have warned her of running into the seemingly unhappy pair. She slid to a halt and spoke to Balken Night while still keeping a firm gaze upon the pair of mares ahead of them; "Stay here .... I will call for you to join me." they were simple instructions and Balken always seemed to take warning from them. Then making her way toward two mares in a carefuly paced canter, she predicted long ago that they would either blame a tradgy on her or perhaps even be kinder.... but now she would find out. She knew the mares. The mares being Faradera and Tulip Pegasus, the pair of mares she had been searching for. She put on a smile and slowed to a fast trot and spoke, "Is that you .... Tulip Pegasus ?? And you .... Faradera ??" she asked all the while an infectious smile placed on her maw.

Diamond, rather than dilly dallying on any longer wished to know what had happened and noticed not far from Faradera were two fillies. "Well wont Rosemont be pleased" she mumbled. One little black filly was motionless and the other was standing above it saying things to it, those words she did not want to hear. Diamond knew what had happened. Faradera's fear had come true and surely she was hurting big time and pretending everything was alright but without help she would go even further depressed. "Little one, what might be your name ??" she asked the white filly that was standing, seemingly obvious to be Tulip's they looked so much alike !! And the motionless foal, well so much like Faradera they only difference being that one of them being alive. Then Diamond decided to call her quick paced filly over to keep Tulip's foal busy. Balken Night must have been a day old at the least and she was the size of a three week old colt ! "Keep her away from the motionless black filly ... race with her and have some fun while I find out what happened." she whispered to Balken. Though truely through her instinct she already knew what had happened.


*--------------------------------------------------------------------*

I am but a day old filly, at least I think, and I have no herd ... just me and my mum. I know little about my father and his herd, all I know about him is that he was hansome, charming, tough, determined and muscular for a Thoroughbred ... Oh and that he isn't a pure TB he has Mustang in his bloodlines somewhere like my mum, he has a dun coat and blue eyes. His herd well ... they moved three times twice because of my mum and the third time without my mum. My mum was lead mare of the herd but something went wrong, something happened which my mum still neglects to tell me on perpose. I'd love to see him but I probly won't. These mares mum's talking with well supposedly, the fillies are my half sisters, they too left my fathers herd. I geuss I know more about my father than most one-parent-mother-left-father-now-heres-little-me-in-the-middle circumstances. Not that I particullary care just means I can tell my half sisters that are too in my situation about him. Also according to my mum, they had the biggest herd around and kept moving because they wanted it really big .... well my father did my mum didn't care if she had loads of mares to govern over she was content with it just being herself and him with just their daughters together in the herd. But who cares whats in the past stays in the past, afterall I don't hate my father I dully think my mum still loves him and that these mares do too ! I was glade me and my mum had an open relationship, we could talk about ANYTHING !!

Mum called me so I galloped on over to my half sister, not knowing her name at all I was scared but I knew I had to do something. "Yes mother" I replied hastily and started to move toward my pure white sibling and with a chirpy voice I spoke, "Hi !! What might be your name ?? Mines Balken Night." posessing a comforting smile on my maw. I didn't think she knew that we were sisters yet ... correction half sisters. So I wasn't about to tell her. Obviously we had just lost a half sister, she was a black filly, not that I was upset I never knew her but it would have been nice too. Our coats would have been rather amusing if we ran in a line; Black filly, Bay filly, White filly. From black to white ... but if we have other siblings will they go along with it too ... if we had other siblings what in fact do they look like ?? what are their names ?? do I have any brothers ?? Do I have any other sisters ?? Do I have a sister rather than a half sister ?? God so many questions popped in my head. "Wanna play ?? You can pick !" I said cheerfully to stop anymore questions popping into my nogging but yet still more flooded in, this time about my father. Was he born wild ?? What color was his coat ?? I had never seen such a coat and every dun was different afterall it turns out. Is he covered in muscles ?? Is he strict ?? Does he have any other mares in his herd ?? Did he have any sons ?? Does he know that I am even alive !? I stopped my thought process with that one right there and then it would only depress me or anger me or even both emotions would run through me at one time.

[Swede]

ooc: feel welcome, as long as you keep the text normal black- astigmatism and a couple other things make reading on a computer hard enough, and bright colors just make it worse.


Faradera shook her head, rocking back and forth. She lowered her muzzle to her silent daughter again, running it from the black-tufted crest along the thin sides, down to the tiny white hind hoof. Still no reaction. The truth was battering her from all sides, overloading her senses, and she was forced to accept it, but it did not come easy. She hated it. And it never stopped tormenting her- this was the fourth time now that she had lost a foal. She could blame no one but herself. It seemed that everyone around her was dropping like flies- her little ones, the humans she loved, the gelding she had regarded as her best friend, her younger sister. All gone. Why did she have to survive? Why live this train wreck of a life? She would quite gladly have swapped places with the motionless lump before her, would have given anything to allow the filly a chance to grow up and run through the grass like any healthy, normal, living foal. But it was impossible. Even the call of her name in the distance did nothing to alleviate the distress and pain. The scarred back mare just glanced upwards, confused and dazed, then looked down again, nudging the lifeless form lying in the dust repeatedly.

[flyff]

[OOC: The filly's bay, Spirit ;D]

The white mare jerked at the sound of a wrenchingly familiar voice...

Tulip Pegasus spun around to see Iced Diamond. The palomino was as proud and radiant as ever, not missing a beat... apparently she'd had another daughter as well, for a charming little filly, also bay, was galloping along, some distance away. Tulip wasn't entirely sure how she felt now... she'd felt no anger at Rosemont before, and yet, seeing such a potent reminder of her painful past, she wasn't sure if she could keep away the anger for much longer.

"Iced Diamond." Her voice sounded unexpectedly cool. She remembered how she was once friends with this mare... how they were once such good companions. And yet, the thought simply pained her now, for with it brought thoughts of Rosemont, and his painful abandonment, once again. Although she struggled to keep good memories of Diamond in mind, she couldn't help thinking things like traitor... betrayal of trust... thought you were my friend.

She shivered. It was all coming back, and in the most painful ways. Get yourself together, she ordered immediately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The little filly jerked at the sound of yet another voice. Tearing her quivering, slightly wet blue eyes away from the motionless bay, she turned to see yet another filly, who also looked about her age... this one was bay just like the motionless one, although this one was moving. She briefly looked form one to the other... there was a clear difference there. A difference that sent a shiver down her spine.

"Actually," Roselie said softly, blinking slowly Balken Night, "I don't think I feel so much like playing right now. No, I think I'll just go have a drink..." As she trotted away towards the lake, she still couldn't shake the image of the limp bay filly from her mind.

"My name's Roselie, by the way," she called softly over her shoulder. "That's my mother over there... her name is Tulip Pegasus."

[spirit1]

[[OOC:: OK. ii don't like long words that when ii look them up ii don't understand what they mean. LOL.]]

The golden palomino looked softly at Faradera bringing with it a tear to her eye. Then a glance took to the fillies. Her gaze shifted and stuck with Tulip as her name was spoken. Softly she muzzled Faradera, trying to get her to stop nuzzling the foal, to get her attention and to let her comfort her in some way. But she knew Faradera too well, for she was a stubborn strong mare ... once was she too ... but Diamond with being alone once again was softer than ever yet extremely over protective. "Tulip, how long has she been like this ??" pointing her muzzle and gaze to Faradera said with a soft tone, softer than when she spoke to her foals. She looked down upon the limp filly, it would have been beautiful, but now they won't know and it pained her to realize it even though it was not her filly ... am i so terrible in thanking that it didn't happen to me ... she stopped with that thought. Faradera was in extreme pain and she needed comfort.

Iced Diamond whispered gently into her hearing pipes, "Its going to be okay ... your strong ... but you need to let go ... show how yo feel ... anger, tears, mortified ... just show it." almost hugging her tightly. The kind palomino had changed, she had grown older and with it she was wiser and perhaps even more noble and kind. She had learned how to navigate the stars, with it two stars had aligned ones that every mare dreaded to see above her ... yet here they shone brightly above Faradera ... Achos -the god of pain-, Deirdre -goddess of sorrow-, Avdima -god of loss- yet she did not see the god of misfortune above her and she could not understand why ?!

*--------------------------------------------------------------------*

Such an impressively upbeat manner was in which Balken Night was acting... but thats all it was ... acting. "Okay then. My mother told me of your mother, they were once friends as too were they with the other mare." she slowly walked over to her half sister ... she wanted so bad to say that they were in the same herd once upon a time and that her mother was the lead mare, but she closed her maw before she revealed something that Tulip had not told her sister. For her sister before her would be asking questions that perhaps Tulip could not answer or would refuse to. The hugely built Balken Night was about to say sis' but she closed her mouth and thought more of what was to be said, "How long have you been in this particular place ??" she asked Roselie scattering her head and gaze around the surrounding area.

It was huge, frankly quiet with an impressively situated lake at its heart with lush greenery growing miles around its surface area. It was impressive but she was getting hot and as she looked to the skies she could understand why ... blood red ... it must be summer she called this a cursed time of year for everything that was once in vibrant colors and abundancey was now slowly receding. The once pink cherry blossoming trees were now losing there well known lusciously baby pink small leaves but to her that was just a wonderful sight....
Especially when the cherry blossom's leaves fell in the background all around you and on such a dark coat as her own. It was breathtakingly spectacularly beautiful !!!

Balken Night was getting hot and thirsty so she galloped as fast as her limits would stretch toward, bounded from the edge of the lake and dove right into the lake splashing swimming and generally enjoying herself, as well as taking in as much water her big built body needed to keep hydrated for another three days ! Yes she was a crazy foal, but she was not only loved for it but known for it too, she could always get away with it being at one with nature ... something that perhaps she learned from her mother seeing as 'twas Diamond that understood the stars ... well while she understood nature.

[Swede]

Faradera swallowed. Perhaps she needed the tears, and certainly she needed to relieve the pressure building in her throat. But they would not come. Trapped inside her, the sorrow was simply building. She had almost convinced herself this one would live, which was the greatest disappointment of all. She had been wrong, again. She hadn't really noticed Diamond's arrival; the shock was too overwhelming. Slowly, unblinkingly, the mare looked up, eyes passing from palomino mare to white mare, dark foal to bay foal. They were all strangers, it seemed, far away in some parallel universe, one where everyone was happy; whereas in her own, it rained more often than not and tragedy was a daily event.

The ebonite mare swung around to face the others, opened her mouth, then closed it again, shaking her head. She nudged her lifeless little daughter again, and receiving no response, her shoulders slumped. Faradera looked up, and quietly, brokenly, uttered one unhappy syllable. "Why?"

A sickening voice crept into her mind, hissing into the stillness. Each one was fathered by a different stud... but they all had the same mother... it is YOU. You have killed them... that is why they are dead, all of them... a curse lingers over you... perhaps your sister and your friend would still be alive, too...

A sudden intake of breath was the only sign she gave to her suddenly increased distress. She wanted to die, now. But somehow, throwing herself in the lake slipped her mind. Faradera sank to her knees, nudging the innocent dead before her. Her sides quivered, and she felt icy cold despite the sun's heat. Dead.. dead... dead... The voice chanted in her mind, filling her entire soul. Quite suddenly, she heaved herself to her feet, and began to run.

[flyff]

The mare trembled with a mixture of emotions... some slight anger, some gratefulness, and some... and some other unidentifiable things. Iced Diamond was no less smooth and confident than she had been not so long ago, and even with yet another foal she seemed so.. young. It was strange.

Tulip Pegasus breathed in slowly, and stepped forward, hanging her head low over Faradera's. "No need to ask why, dearie," she said lightly. "You'll be all right. You'll see. Plenty of more life to waste wonderin' why if you're goin' to, wot wot? You shouldn't, though. Thinkin' too much about things like this are bad for y'health, that's wot me old mum says."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Were they?" she asked in an offhanded way. She wasn't really listening. There was something odd about this filly... something forced about her smile, something unnatural about her seemingly cheerful and light demeanor. It made Roselie suspicious.

The long-legged filly slowly began to stray away from Balken Night, her crystal blue eyes scanning the horizon, not bothering to answer the filly's other question.

[spirit1]

Ice Diamond was one to navigate the stars and understood them better then anyone. "I hate to say it but, Tulip's right! I know the stars, Achos -the god of pain-, Deirdre -goddess of sorrow-, Avdima -god of loss- all hang over you on this birth ... but the God of misfortune does not! One day Faradera you'll have a foal... and it will be as beautiful as its mother if not more... But not now, now you need to experiance this pain for a reason unbeknown to me... May the Goddess Madonna burn over you in the night sky some day." she managed to say before Faradera ran off. Turning to Tulip she began to talk, "I know you may hate me still, I know perhaps you hate me more even now after what I said to Faradera but I want you to understand. When the pair of you left the herd I felt as if my dream family was splitting apart and could not bare the heartache on losing my only dearest friends ... because I thought that was what we were ... so I took a stand and left too, I wondered for days, months ....... even years looking for you both but due to my pregnant state it was slow and painful untill I birthed. Balken Night showed me the life I wanted for us both, for us all... which is why I'm reclaiming the herd. I want you to come with me too you and Faradera! We are lone mothers and cannot raise our foals to the best posibilities as long as we are not in a herd structure. Balken Night wants to see her father, what about Roselie ?! what does she want ?! tell her our story ... and let the fillies decide!! They are afterall the future." she walked away from Tulip in hope that she too would see sense and return with her and Balken. She lifted her maw to the air and called for Balken to come and as she did she waited on a mound.

*--------------------------------------------------------------------*

Balken did not know what was going on between her mother and her sisters but she picked up the signs of destress, "Yeah, ... I dont know if your mother ever told you anything about your father but ... here's a clue, you have his eyes!" she paused before continueing she knew that she didn't have much time before her mom would tell her to go with her so she tried to get Roselie to understand as much and as quickly as she could, "Our mum's were in the same herd with the same stallion ... ... ... need I say anymore?! But you're mum and the black mare both left which is as much as I know, you have to talk to your mum about it because i'm not aloud to say anymore! I'm sorry, sis. You had every right to be suspicious ... I was holding back the truth as is your mum ... I was forced to look happy because that dead little filly, its our half sister, and I was supposed to cheer you up! Forgive me, Now I have to go... talk to your mum maybe she'll tell you more." he spoke with her head sinking nearer the end. She then bounded to her mother, Diamond, reaching out her muzzle to her and neighing gently. "Bye Roselie! I'll see you around" she said in a rear kicking out and winking at her sister. Then she noticed another mare; Now whats going to happen ??

[/color]

[Dusty's Girl]

Heavy hoofbeats annouced her arrival. Her blue eyes took in the trouble and distress, hoping that she was not intruding too much. A black mare had galloped past her as she entered, her speed breakneck. The bay and white mare had nothing to prove as she entered this place, merely was looking for some time away from her herd. She was a massive mare, more strength and power than height. She was a Gypsy Vanner, daughter of King. She looked to the palomino mare and the white mare and the myriad of foals, including the lost little one. She too had known the pain of loss, but she was too keen to not speak of it.

She gave a gentle snort to annouce her presence but nothing much more. Orchid was not that type of mare. She was quiet and reserved when she needed to be and wild at heart at other times. She was a true Gypsy though. Never much on staying in one place and strange stories and remedies spun webs in her mind. Her feathers flew slightly on her legs as she lowered her head to graze, "No life ever came to bear on a night such as this." Her whisper was soft, not meaning to carry much. She did not know much of the stars and of the gods, but she knew the legends, she knew the time of the year.

She shook her head as she grazed, "Time will only tell if a King can save her broken soul." She said this loud enough for the other mares to hear. Yes, Faradera had became her lead mare, joined with King and his love. She raised her head and nodded it slowly. She let her blue eyes look to the other mares as she let her body posture stand up straight. The palomino mare looked like a hard mare, one that would fight for almost nothing. The white mare looked as if she was lost in her mind, lost in this world. The fillies, well they were fillies.

[flyff]

Tulip Pegasus blew out a slow, but thoughtful, sigh. After a moment of silence, she said suddenly, "M'gel, y'talk too much and y'go too far. That's the Diamond I know." She couldn't help giving a bit of a weary smile at the thought of it. This wasn't the same Diamond that had once been her lead... that silly, prideful little palomino. She was wiser now, and far more motherly.

"Life on y'own has done you a jolly bit o' good, I'd say. Smartened you up a bit, hasn't it, m'gel. Aren't the same silly young mare as ye once were." Of course, Tulip thought to herself, you shouldn't be doing the talking. You were just as young as she was.

Dropping her voice, she added, "If y'want anymore t'do with Rosemont and his bally lot, then y'can, but I'm stayin' out of it if I know wot's good for me, and believe me, I do. I've had enough fighting. Roselie and I will be well off enough on our own." Ending on a fiercer note, she was about to take her leave when the other mare came. The mare's face seemed familiar, and yet Tulip couldn't quite place it...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The filly frowned slightly. Being young as she was, she didn't like to be told that she had been lied to, and immediately decided that she didn't like this Balken Night at all. She disliked even more the things that the filly had told her. Her mother wouldn't possibly keep such big secrets like that from her. Of course she wouldn't.

"My mother's already told me that," she lied boldly, her quivering sapphire eyes a dead giveaway. Well, it was partly true, she consoled herself. Her mother had said she had her father's eyes.